I Am Not Other People

It is much too simple to get tangled in others anxiety and discontentment. 

What they worry over, I begin to worry over too.

What they expect out of themselves, I begin expect out of myself.

Their dreams formulate into my worst nightmare.

And this all happens by caring about others too much,

and not enough about myself.

There is nothing more fulfilling than pouring benevolence

into someone's life when they need it the most.

The only hindrance with giving someone 

all

you have

is that 

you end up 

with 

nothing

left.

I AM

NOT

OTHER PEOPLE.

Shortly after 3AM

HOLY FUCKING HUFFLEPUFF,

Pottermore finally streamed live 

and 

surprisingly, yet not so surprisingly at all 

I was awake for it!

Oh, how I love Harry Potter! 

^ And this is awesome.

Time for bed, 

I think I have hit my limit 

of lack of it.

I will update tomorrow. 

Good Night.

EDIT: Just was granted early admission, fuck with that.

Hemorrhage of Perception

There are days 

 I want to sleep away this anamnesis 

Expunge any trace I was here.

Days like today when memories matter...

A matter of fact, fiction, or theory,

 They really don't matter at all.

No doubt that this place is god damn beautiful.

But people reside here too. 

And that displaces right much 

In the syntax of how things are said and done. 

I am beginning to retain hate like water,

A drought of feeling doesn't sound half bad.

I am

determined to be okay

- With humanity.

Building better things 

from knowledge.

And taking advantage of 

This life previously lived.

I sense that living in the "now" 

Is a thing of the past.

Perhaps,

Similar to drive in movies 

And ten cent stores.

You can talk yourself out of anything,

but you can't talk yourself out of being 

YOU.

Time isn't a broken clock, I am afraid

dead batteries won't stop it here.

I will dive into this ocean of moments 

Back and forward.

Hoping not to 

drown myself 

in the 

process. 

Note To Self

Sometimes,

 I let my anger get the best of me.

But self reflection is rarely a bad thing.

Submerging myself into the fear of feeling,

Only gets me feeling worse.

As they say,

It takes

A

Lifetime 

to learn how to

Live.

Forgive and Forget

I forgive you

 For being such a jackass

Due to the fact you had no idea what 

You were even speaking of.

I have a past, a present, and a future 

As does everyone else. 

Frankly, it does not concern you.

And I do not care to hear

 If you think it does or ever did.

This negative energy you supply consumes me.

Eats me alive.

That's why I fuss and fight and pull away.

I will not,

I do not pity you.

However, I will forgive your ignorance.

 Seriously though, fuck you.

Moral Sentiments

I wish more people cared about 

EARTH

as much as they cared about 

WHO

They believe created it.

Put your fucking gun down.

Up in arms over religion.

And in combat for peace.

The omniscient unknowing.

Refusing to admit that they don't even have 

The answers that they push on everyone else.

Trying to disprove

What they haven't even

Fully disproved themselves.

Irony or Ignorance?

You be the judge,

Oh wait.

This Is For Me Too

It is thought provoking just how different 

the way others view you are from 

the way you view yourself.

They have 

never once 

been the same.

I just wish that you would

Learn to love yourself better. 

(This is meant for everyone, including you.)

For The Masses

It is difficult for me to sit back and inconspicuously watch people

Take others for granted so effortlessly - Or worse, themselves.

Listen a little closer, because this needs to be said.

Be grateful to have the people in your life that you do. 

Everyone matters. Every damn one of you matters.

Everyone has a purpose, even if it's small. 

You are defined by the way in which you treat the people you love. And, the people you hate. 

This not just about karma, it is about the respect you have not only for others, 

But more significantly the respect you have for yourself. 

You will stop hating the world so much 

When you learn to love the life you were given first. 

Stop trying so fucking hard to prove to yourself that you have to fit this mold

that has been constructed for you by the individuals that you think you need 

To persuade to like you before you can even like yourself. 

That isn't how it is supposed to be.

And this is not who you are, this is who you wish you were.

Give yourself some credit, 

you 

deserve

 it.

Greetings From Richmond

They say that this city will consume you if you let it. 

It will take ahold of you and vacuum you in. 

Some see that as a death wish; To never grow up, become anything more than they already are. And the way most of my generation lives, I could fucking see that as being the case. 

The Peter Pan syndrome they call it. 

But this city brought me awakening. Did something for me I could never do for myself, It invigorated my senses and shook me up a bit. Perhaps I gained through observing all I never wanted to become.  And perhaps I have got it all wrong. But you can't say in one way or another it hasn't done the same for you. 

I am what I am now because of this place, and I am not saying that is such a terrible thing. Reality hit me hard and knocked me around, that is what I needed it to do.

 I have become conscious of the fact that I cannot save everyone. And that maybe even saving myself is harder than ever. 

And it's probable that I haven't ever really tried. And you know what, that is okay. Regardless,I need to salvage what is remaining of myself while I have the strength and motivation to do so. 

It's not a matter of question anymore. 

It must be done and if I give up now than there is nothing left.

It is about time that I finally woke up. 

...That is if you could say that I even slept. 

It's just I feel that I have been living an illusion 

for so long now, It is time to break away from such old habits

And find something a little more tangible to grasp on to.

_{Don't expect answers to all of your empty questions to be handed over to you like a pharmaceutical drug to "cure" all of your life's ups and downs. Get the fuck over yourself, this IS life and it's not intended to come easy. If it were, there would be no point in existing in the first place.}

_{Complication is necessary to make it all feel worth while.} 

 _{And if you hate the scenery you are surrounded by that is your own damn problem and it will never be cured by a change of pace or setting.}

_{Clarification will only suffocate you in this place.} 

_{So quit demanding it.}

_{You will} never 

like where 

you are 

_{if you} 

_{don't like} 

_yourself 

_first.