I have been thinking too much, and not writing enough.
Is it only but so strange that I would rather be alone than with someone that makes me feel as if I am?
Fear may hold me back from forming much of anything with anyone,
but in a sense I would rather be
okay with the fear I possess than
living unhappily.
There was a time where I would have considered myself
lost.
You do not understand.
I am not asking you to.
And in essence is one ever truly lost if they aren't looking to be found?
Though more frequently I have been picking up the pieces
attempting at best to reformat my being.
I will feel whole once more.
I have been attending therapy.
I have been coming out of my shell slightly more.
I have been opening up to myself more.
I have been
accepting
more.
Which is the first step to self recovery, more or less self discovery.
I was never lost. I was in hiding.
From who I was, who I didn't want to know.
I have been scratching and crawling at the lining of of these walls I have built.
It's nice to finally breathe again.
Less analyzation.
You can't use Novocain on feeling
which I believe
has been based off of nothing and this is all nothingness.
It's okay, you are fucking human.
Shadows are merely shadows;
Mirrors simply reflect.
Don't drown in the confusion,
suffocation will only bring you back to
where you started.
When you feel
dead
to yourself,
you will feel
dead
to the
world.
