Remember To Breathe.

I have misplaced

 the remembrance 

of what's given 

to bubble up such chemistry- 

that atom bonding, euphoric trembling, 

Eye colliding, analogy at best.

That moment-time holding; 

all surroundings 

Fall mute, fall still. 

Lacking understanding 

of feeling,

or when...

Understanding too much 

of what you yourself and others 

lack

Causes chaos

in such 

Thinking. 

Breaking you 

away from

Feeling.

What's left 

to give

when you've

got nothing left?

At times I sense I am merely

An empty shell.

Time to refill this void.

They say that nothing is faster

 than the speed of light.

I beg to differ.

I swear to it 

that my mind 

has light 

beat.

It's that " not quite asphyxiating" feeling, but barely breathing.

It's hard to explain, but it's easy for just about anyone to understand. 

That happy and sad at once,

That ambitious yet lethargic approach on life.

Going places and going nowhere fast. 

Are we on the same page here? 

It's motivating and discouraging at the same damn time 

That's right about where I am standing. 

And frankly, I want the fuck away from here. 

There is so much that I want to do in this life. 

There are days I fear that perhaps there is just not enough 

time in this place for me to accomplish enough of it. 

This is not pessimism. This is honesty. And it is frightening. 

And as reluctant as I have been to admitting it,

 I am afraid.

But that's life. And this is mine. 

And I plan on making the best of it 

instead of sitting off to the side silently somewhere

 feeling sorry for myself as it just dwindles away. 

That's what most people who are in my position would do.

I am not most people.

Hopelessness 

is only hopelessness

if you have 

no 

hope. 

I was naive to believe

that there was even the slightest chance

that I could be the one that saves you.

I have come to rationalize, 

among other things, 

that  this has turned out to be 

quite the implausibility, 

and among other beliefs,

I believe that you are 

strong enough to save yourself.

________

It is disheartening that I am always the antidote for those in need, 

Yet I cannot even fucking cure myself. 

It's like this-

We may subsist in a corrupt world,

But in truth we are more toxic to ourselves.

FREE WILL WARPS INTUITION.