It's that " not quite asphyxiating" feeling, but barely breathing.

It's hard to explain, but it's easy for just about anyone to understand. 

That happy and sad at once,

That ambitious yet lethargic approach on life.

Going places and going nowhere fast. 

Are we on the same page here? 

It's motivating and discouraging at the same damn time 

That's right about where I am standing. 

And frankly, I want the fuck away from here. 

There is so much that I want to do in this life. 

There are days I fear that perhaps there is just not enough 

time in this place for me to accomplish enough of it. 

This is not pessimism. This is honesty. And it is frightening. 

And as reluctant as I have been to admitting it,

 I am afraid.

But that's life. And this is mine. 

And I plan on making the best of it 

instead of sitting off to the side silently somewhere

 feeling sorry for myself as it just dwindles away. 

That's what most people who are in my position would do.

I am not most people.

Hopelessness 

is only hopelessness

if you have 

no 

hope.