Time is of the essence-

Mankind is one in the same 

in comparison with the 

(deep) / blue / seas, 

you can 

(nor will you ever be capable of)

such s.u.b.s.t.a.n.t.i.a.l. apprehension  -

regarding any living flesh 

until making the attempt 

to swim past their shores. 

No different than an ocean, 

mankind is endlessly deep. 

There is more than mere surface value. 

Until recently I never fixated 

on just how astounding that actually was. 

Nothing [IS] ;  something [IS] 

to someone,

or to me at any rate.

(That within itself

 is hopelessly 

magnificent.)  

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. 

inflicting 

malevolence 

will in time 

v/a/n/i/s/h. 

Just as waves tower over you,

then crash within an instant. 

( This to shall pass.)

And just as the tide collides along the oceanfront,

it to will disappear into the sunset. 

Just because someone you love

has the ability to make you feel sentiments

in which you never thought imaginable,

 Does [not] mean that within a future time 

you will be incapable of experiencing that sentiment  again.  

No one and no thing 

can ever steal that away from you. 

YOU are in control. 

Time cures uneasiness. 

T.I.M.E. heals everything. 

You are not alone. 

You are never alone. 

(You never have been.)

Look PAST your faults.

For they in reality are not. 

You are human ;

[Accept that.] 

It is okay to become one with reality;

Reality is one with you. 

Keep moving forward. 

Time is of the essence. 

Time 

is 

all 

you 

have.

Relative -

It's the most peculiar feeling coming across

quotations in which describe your every

feeling to a T.

No Rain, No Flowers.

Without suffering there is no enlightenment. 

Discomfort is always a necessity when it comes to internal insight.

Without unawareness there is no awoken consciousness. 

If you are blind to everything, you see nothing.

Without rain there are no flowers.

There is no growth, there is no fortuity of prosperity.

 Be grateful for every step that leads you to where you are destined to be.

This is going to be a destructive process.

Do not let this deter you.

Fear is what put you here in the first place.

DO NOT FEAR.

This is not about  annihilating all you've ever known.

This is not about being better. 

This is about discovery of your true self. 

This is about letting go of what you cannot change. 

This is about Murphy's Law.

This is about reading in between the lines. 

This is acceptance of what you read in the margins. 

This is the beginning. 

(And without a beginning, 

there is no end.)

Happiness Is A Choice:

* Be conscious of/Accept the things you cannot change, 

and make effort towards what you can.

If you are unhappy with your circumstances, 

CHANGE your circumstances! 

Nobody has the power to hold you back but yourself. 

If you want change, create that change. 

It is as simple and as complicated as that.

*As much as it may hurt, 

let go of the negative energy in your life. 

That energy or being that is preventing you from living your life to its fullest extent. 

You are meant to do more than exist. 

That is not living. 

You are meant to feel ALIVE and to experience what life has to offer on a daily basis. 

Do not allow anyone or anything to cause you to feel as if you don't deserve that. 

You do. You always have.

*Feel everything fully. 

Do not be afraid of emotion. 

Do not disregard your emotions. 

Part of discovering inner peace and finding happiness in the process 

is discarding the parts of you and the feelings that are no good for you. 

Feel them. 

Experience them to their fullest extent. 

Then move forward. 

LIVE FEARLESSLY.

*Surround yourself with people that you love
and love you back just the same. 

Don't chase anyone. Don't force feeling. 

It is either there, or it isn't. 

You cannot convince someone to want to be in your life. 

If they want to be, they will be, and that is that.

*Take your time in all you do. 

Do not rush a thing. 

Learn from your mistakes. 

Let the suffering guide you to a better place. 

*Keep in mind that you are your own biggest critic.

 The faults you see within yourself are not what the worlds sees. 

There is ALWAYS room for improvement. 

But there is NOTHING wrong with you. 

You are enough! 

Every flaw is part of what makes you YOU,
love yourself for it.

Protagonist, Where Are You?

I can't quite explain the sadness... 

There are moments that feel as if they go on for hours, occasionally they might.

I have no combination of words in which I could describe the heartache I am enduring. 

My heart is being ripped to shreds, all that left is bits of it piled like confetti beneath me.

It would simplify things if I were to merely walk away and never look back. 

That would be the easy way out. I believe in fighting for what you deserve. 

Fighting for what you want.

Not giving in or giving up.

Nobody can save me, 

nobody was ever supposed to. 

I have been the antagonist in my own story for far too long.

This sadness overwhelms my entire being. 

Nothing appears to be tangible, emotion is almost nonexistent yet incredibly overwhelming.

 My stomach is a pit of emptiness. 

I am weak. 

I am exhausted mentally, emotionally, and everything in between. 

I cannot sleep, the sadness I feel exists within my dreams too. 

It feels almost inescapable. 

I don't want to be stuck here anymore. However, 

I do not want to walk away either. 

Frankly,

I have never experienced a love quite like this. 

And I don't believe he can wrap his head around it. 

For I barely can... I can make a million excuses, but

at the end of the day I feel if the right steps were to be taken,

all would fall into place.

I have never had someone throw reality in my face 

and tell me that I had no choice but to mend the broken shards 

of my past in order to be whole again. 

I have awareness now. 

All of the bad existing in my life 

does not belong brushed underneath a rug to be forgotten about.

It needs to be discussed. It needs to be dealt with. 

It will be uncomfortable.

I just need to keep reminding myself that soon,

All of this weight will soon be lifted.

 It is taking every fiber within my being to pull myself back up. 

I want this. 

I want my independence. 

I want to be healthy.

I want to free myself from these chains
 attached to this sadness and pain.

 All of this...
It has been lingering in my life
since before I can remember.

It is time.

 I have been knowingly allowing my past to destroy me,
I should have let go ages ago. 

I know this.
And now I have lost yet another good thing due to FEAR. 

I do want to close this chapter. 

I want to turn the page.

God only knows I have been stuck here for entirely too long. 

The edges are tattered and worn.

I deserve better.

No more excuses.

No more fear.

Now all I have to do is trust the process...

I'm Back!

It has been a solid 2 - 2 1/2 years

 since my last blog post...

Which makes me very unhappy.

My words hold my heart. 

I need to make this a priority in my life again. 

This needs to change.