All Because I Met You-

I've spent countless hours
<<<suspended into days
-suspended into the infinite.

<I cannot retract this.>

I've given fragments of myself
to the undeserving.
Left with nothing to call my own.
I never questioned it.


My knotted past
is (I am) a tangled mess.
I am an enigmatic being.
 Full of puzzle pieces
that have been crammed
where they don't belong.
The unfitting ; never fitting.

I've been carefully
and diligently
pulling apart:
 piece by piece.

Tattered, torn-
I can see
 each and every  layer
in-between.
So I've begun
to erase memory
of this mismatched visual.

Letting go of fear.

All because I met you.

Pins and Needles-

There are hidden messages  

etched under my skin.

Pins and needles 

exposing nerve endings.

Evaporating feeling: externalizing.

Rising  into my pores.

This fear is only as real

as the thoughts I think.

Everything I have ever let go of

have the scars to prove it.

Look Elsewhere-

Sometimes we lose sight of ourselves 

when we are not paying attention. 

Looking for yourself 

in the bounds of someone else

will only get you lost.

Let this be a lesson,

not a resentment.

What does wanting "more" even mean?

Some days; most days

 I legitimately feel I am bearing the weight of the entire fucking world. 

 Life, infectiously digging.

 Talons etched inside my skin.

 Familiarized. 

I know this level of intimacy all too well. 

No need for explanation.

I become one;I am one. 

 Battling comfort. 

 All the while facing discomfort. 

 Within these moments I confront everything. 

 Face to face.

I am mirroring time within itself. 

I challenge the mental process. 

Can't you see that I am finally awake?

 Such instances, so instantaneously.

 What has brought me here in the first place? 

 First and foremost- 

Take care of you.

 Never forgetting, Nor allowing anything other. 

 Sabotage the thoughts, 

Do not sabotage the self. 

 ((Do you hear me? Do you hear?))

 - It's time you cared enough to listen. 

It's time you wanted something more.

The Choice Is Yours-

Passing thoughts, 

pass me by:

1.Love is not a disposable concept. 

2.Never make decisions based off of loneliness.

3. Be with someone who makes you happy; 

be that someone that makes you happy.

4. You have to make peace with yourself 

before you can fully spread peace outwardly. 

5. Seeing things for what they are 

doesn't always align with what actually is. 

What we choose to see is a reflection of how we feel.

We are the creators of our heaven, of our hell. 

Remember this during both dark and joyous times.

6. Happiness isn't situational. 

Happiness starts from within. 

Just as misery can eat you alive, 

happiness can do the same. 

*The choice is yours.*

Chasing Shadows

Sometimes 

what  
you
want 

and 

what  

you 

deserve 

are on  a 

polar 

opposite 

spectrum. 

Chasing 

shadows

only 

leaves 

you 

alone

with thoughts

even darker

than the 

shadows 

you 

are

chasing.

*

You have to love you first-

Missing someone out of habit isn't true longing.

It's a commonplace misconception of your emotional state.

Nostalgia of what once was, placing focus on the potential they once had.

If it is constrained, if it is self fabricated, it isn't worth your time nor energy.

Loving someone out of comfort isn't love at all.

It comes to a point where you must accept that you are worth the love you omit to yourself.

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter if they ever loved you at all.

In the end,

all that truly matters is one thing

...

You 

have to 

love you

first.

We are here. -

It is difficult to capitulate
to acceptance of
awareness of
not being the first
(or)
knowingly the last
as far as romance goes,
while experiencing what romance is.

Until you do.
Until you are.

Once you know,
you know.

Welcome home.

We are here.

Love is a haphazard :

Romance mimics utopia.

In retrospect,

it has always been 

commitment that is craved the most.

Dependability,

not codependency.

An unequivocal love.

Reliance and resilience 

are not the same thing.

(Inevitably-) flawed.

I am,

you are.

There is (something)

so undeniably beautiful, 

yet (frightening)

about raw uncut emotion

...

The fluidity (is) blatant.

However, 

it is safer to fear feelings

than (to feel) them.